Men, we know that going to bed with your partner with a desire to get some action but failing to perform and rolling over to sleep isn’t the ideal way you want your night to end. But if this is happening to you often then know that you are not alone, inability to climax or losing an erection mid-way is quite common in men, especially those who are living a stressful life – having a demanding job, financial crunches, etc. This could lead to sexual performance anxiety where you fail to climax or lose an erection mid-way. Yes, it can be embarrassing and this could make your relationship go for a toss. But before you think about the worst let us assure you that performance anxiety is not the same as erectile dysfunction where you fail to get an erection despite a stimulus. Instead, in performance anxiety, you might get an erection and lose it during the course of action. This makes it difficult for you and your partner to get enough action. The reasons for performance anxiety could be any – stress, anxiety, depression, low testosterone, nerve damage, alcohol abuse and smoking, etc. Here we are talking about ways to beat performance anxiety and how to make sex pleasurable:
Take the stress out of your bedroom:
Most often than not performance anxiety is due to stress – work stress, financial stress or stress in other aspects of your relationship. Sometimes sexual stress builds up after failing to have an orgasm before with your partner. Most men keep dwelling on failed sexual attempts where they failed to reach a climax and satisfy their partner. These experiences make a major ego dip in men and they keep replaying the scenario over and over again. So break free from the stress of your previous failed performance and start afresh. In fact, take a deep breath and start concentrating on your partner and your desires. No, she is not judging you from your past performance in bed else she would have been with you again. So, trust yourself and consciously get into the act. A quick tip: take a few sips of red wine before you begin the action. Remember just a few sips to get your libido racing, not a whole bottle that would put even a sleeping beauty to shame.
Engage in foreplay:
So, you think foreplay is a woman’s thing and they need it to get in action and mood. Well, this is true for you too. Men would like to avoid foreplay and get into action. But if performance anxiety has been bothering you for a while then know engaging in a little bit of foreplay might help. Erotic massages, kisses, cuddles and caresses go a long way in helping one get all charged up and wild in bed. So, men, listen up it is always better to linger with those touches and smooches before the main act. Foreplay is for men too.
A sedentary lifestyle coupled with unhealthy eating habits makes the body sluggish and hampers blood circulation. Lack of proper blood circulation, especially in the penile area, can cause problems with erection and lead to performance anxiety. So sweat it out either in the morning or evening. If you are not interested to lose weight, still, remember exercise can do wonders to boost your sex life.
Give up your vices:
Smoking and alcohol affect your sex life like no other. They lead to erection problems, delays orgasm and kill the sex drive too. So giving up these vices can help to improve your performance in bed.
Talk to your partner:
Men, the biggest mistake you do is by hiding your problem to your partner. Many times talking to the partner about performance anxiety can help ease the stress and help you perform without having too much of expectation from yourself. Your partner might be understanding and helpful enough to find ways to enjoy intimacy if intercourse is not a possibility. Such trust and companionship can help overcome performance anxiety and get better in bed too.
Go to a therapist:
Sometimes even with the best of your efforts, it is difficult to get over performance anxiety with these measures. If you have tried every other remedy under the sun and are still unable to get over performance anxiety then go talk to a therapist for help. Therapies like guided meditation, stress management, couple therapy, sex therapy and even sex education can help.